Labyrinth: A Magical Tale
by AJ4
Summary: Mazes, CrossDressers, Evil Kings, Oh My! What happens when the unexpected occurs? Will Mamoru ever make it out of the maze...with his sanity intact?
1. Enter Insanity

**_Labrynth: A Tale of Magic_**

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**AN: Hi everyone! This is the first Sailor Moon fic I've ever posted so be gentle. I don't own SM or Labrynth so don't  
sue...I have no money to give. ;-;**

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The stage was dark; nothing could be heard aside from a few scuffles of last minute prop set up and a few coughs from the eager audience. The large theatre was packed, filled to the brim with viewers. They had been looking forward to this play for two whole months now. The whole city had been eager to see this _Labrynth_ nonsense. The stage lights came on and the curtain shimmered and trembled; Sarah was almost ready to enter the stage. The curtains parted and the stage lights hit the set. There stood a girl, posing as Sarah. She gave her monologue and ran home as the fake rain began to pour. There she met her father and step-mother, and had her argument. She banished her brother and Mamoru was finally ready for his big entrance. He stepped into Sarah's father's room through the window, but his boot caught on the edge of the sill. He fell, face first onto the ground and his large wig toppled off of his head.He stood up quickly, and hurriedly put his wig back on. Why had he let Usagi talk him into doing this? Just because it was her favorite movie did not mean he _too_ would like it. He had only agreed when she had pouted ever so cutely...and whined ever so annoyingly. 

The audience laughed and Mamoru turned a shade of crimson. The hours flew by and Mamoru's torture was finally ended. He smiled at Usagias she met him outside, and he gave the petite blonde a tight hug.  
"Why do I do these things for you, Usako?"  
"Because I'm just so darn cute?"  
Mamoru chuckled as he lowered his mouth to her own for a kiss, "perhaps...".

  
Mamoru laid down upon his bed and closed his weary eyes. It had been such a long, tiring day...He smiled to himself, anticipating the sweet dreams he would have of his little rabbit.

A baby's cry broke the silence and woke Mamoru from his blissful slumber. He sat up and groaned as he raked a hand through his shoulder length hair. ...Shoulder length? He jumped up in surprise and fear, and looked around his new surroundings with wide, confused eyes. The room was wildly decorated with outrageous stuffed animals and various posters of musicals on the painted walls. He glanced into the vanity mirror in alarm and gave a yelp of surprise at what he saw. He was wearing a night gown, and his hair was much too long. Another cry from the baby brought Mamoru out of his stupor.

"Oh, Toby I'm coming!"

Mamoru blinked in slight confusion. Toby? He had had one too many rehearsals in the past week and it was wearing off on him. That was it! He was having some weird dream! Another cry grated on Mamoru's nerves and sent a chill up his spine. "Alright, alright! I'm _coming_!" He quickly pulled off his nightgown and looked down. All necessary parts still there and intact. He smiled and sighed in relief. He walked to the chest and drawers and dug through it. He found a pair of tight jeans and a billowy peasant blouse. He put them on and slipped on some shoes.  
He then begrudgingly began to make his way towards the room that the screams were coming from. He threw the door open with a small groan.   
"Toby, shut up. I'm tired and--...**Shingo**?!"  
Shingo sat in the crib, a little cramped, a bonnet on his head and a large cloth diaper wrapped around his middle. He scowled at Mamoru and gave an enthusiastic loud sob.  
"This just gets weirder and weirder..."   
He gave a defeated shrug and walked over to 'Toby' to gently rub the child's back. 

"Shh...be quiet now, it's all right..."  
Toby hiccupped and sniffled as he looked up at Mamoru. Mamoru smiled as he leaned down, "See? All better."   
With that said, Toby grew quite still. Concerned, Mamoru leaned even closer to the child, "Shingo, err, Toby...?" Toby blinked, coughed, then spat up all over Mamoru before bursting into new sobs.

Mamoru's left eye twitched as he stood up slowly. "Fine, all right." He walked to the door and glared over his shoulder at the bawling child. "I wish the Goblins would come and take you away. Right now." He turned off the lights and went into the bathroom to clean up. When he came out again, he paused before heading back to bed. All was silent. In fact, all had _been_ silent since he left the room Shingo had been in. What had he said before he left...?  
"Oh. Crap."   
He dashed into the room, attempted to turn on the lights in vain, gave up, then called out almost hesitantly, "Shingo...?" He walked towards the crib. Empty. He heard an evil cackle and spun around. "What's going on? Ugh...what deja vu. If I never have to act this out again, it'll be too soon..."  
A light beating on the window caused Mamoru to turn around once more. There was a beautiful owl with golden tipped white feathers trying to get inside. Suddenly the windows blew open and the owl darted in. Mamoru stepped backwards to give the bird plenty of room, his blue eyes slightly wide.  
In a flash of smoke, color and light a figure appeared where the bird had previously been hovering. Mamoru coughed and blinked as his eyes stung with tears from the smoke. As his vision readjusted he gasped in surprise as the Goblin King stood before him.  
"Of all people...Why did it have to be you?"


	2. Into the Darkness

_**AN**: Oro! Sorry that I didn't put 'Dance Magic Dance' in but Sarah isn't in that part and I'm really trying to stick with just Mamoru's part. But don't worry, I_ _won't leave out 'Chilly Down' XD!_

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_  
  
"_Usako_?!"  
  
"Mamo-Chan!" The bunny threw her arms about Mamoru's neck. She smiled up at him, her face touched with unusual makeup; her hair was down and fell to her ankles in a sparkling golden shower. Mamoru noted her odd clothing, including the potato-pants she donned. His eyes widened as he jumped back in alarm.  
  
"Usako! What on Earth is that buldge?!"  
  
"What buldge?" she asked innocently.  
  
"The one in your pants!"  
  
Usagi looked down and giggled, "let me show you!"  
  
To Mamoru's horror the petite blonde shoved her hand down into her pants and began to grope around.   
  
"Ugh! I don't want to see-….that?"  
  
In her hand, Usagi clutched a wad of socks proudly for Mamoru to see.   
  
"Oh…"  
  
Usagi giggled as she stuffed the wad down her pants once more. Mamoru shook his head with a sigh, "Anyhow, Usako, I need Shingo ba-"  
  
"Shh!" she hushed him, "we're supposed to call him 'Toby' just like I'm supposed to call you Sarah, Mamo-chan. Anyway, you can't have the brat back. I'm keeping him."   
  
Mamoru sighed, exasperated. "No, I need him back."  
  
Usagi smiled as she held a crystal in her hand. "A gift."   
  
"…what is it?"  
  
"A crystal, nothing more. But this is not a gift for an ordinary girl-"  
  
"I'm not a girl!"  
  
"Do not defy me!" Usagi exclaimed as the crystal turned into a snake. She blinked down at it, squealed in alarm, and threw it at Mamoru. Mamoru yelped as it hit him in the head. He grabbed it quickly, flung it on the ground and proceeded to stomp on it wildly. He stopped, mid-stomp, and slowly looked up at Usagi.  
  
"…It's rubber."  
  
Usagi blinked in confusion and stopped cringing. She inspected the snake and smiled bashfully. "Well…so it is."   
  
Mamoru raked a hand through his unnaturally long hair to pull it back from his face. "Listen, I know where this is going. Let's just get to the Labyrinth part."   
  
Usagi's cherry lips formed into a pout as she placed her hands on her hips. "How did you know about the labyrinth?"   
  
Mamoru sighed as he rubbed his temples in annoyance. "Let's just call it a hunch."  
  
Usagi blinked but nodded. "Okay!" with that the two disappeared, and quickly reappeared on a dry, desert like hilltop that overlooked the giant labyrinth.   
  
"Turn back Sarah."  
  
Mamoru spun around to face Usagi, "Usako, stop calling me Sarah!"  
  
Usagi pouted again, "but you are Sarah! Well, since you're so very bent on finding Toby-"  
  
"Shingo."  
  
"-You have thirteen hours in which to solve the labyrinth and make it to my castle. If you do not make it in time-"  
  
"The child is yours?"  
  
"…the child is mine."   
  
With one last pouted Usagi vanished into thin air, leaving Mamoru alone to stare out at the vast maze. He gave a heavyhearted sigh and made his way down the hill.   
  
He spared a thought to wonder whom on Earth he would meet next. He raised his black eyebrows as he saw a girl with a wavy brown ponytail, wearing old, dirty clothing. The figure was busy hunching over a few faeries. The girl counted aloud as she sprayed the winged creatures, laughing as they fell to the ground, poisoned.   
  
Upon close inspection one could see that the little faeries closely resembled Chibi-Usa.   
  
"H-Hey! Stop that!" he blinked as the girl turned around. "Makoto!? Why are you doing that?" He leaned down to pick one of the fallen faeries up and stroke it.   
  
"The name is Hoggle."  
  
Mamoru rolled his eyes, "Of course-OW! It bit me!" He dropped it unceremoniously and scowled.   
  
" 'Course it did! Fifty-Seven!" She cried gleefully as she sprayed another.   
  
"Ugh…whatever. How do I get into the Labyrinth?"  
  
"Through the door."  
  
"…what door?"  
  
"The door to the Labyrinth!"   
  
Mamoru's eyebrow twitched, "Where is the door?"  
  
"What door?"  
  
"The door to the Labyrinth!"  
  
"What about it?"   
  
"Oh for heaven's sake where is the door to the Labyrinth?!"   
  
Makoto smirked and pointed at a door. "Right there."  
  
Mamoru groaned as he walked to the old, worn door and entered the Labyrinth. He glanced to the left and then the right. His eyes widened at the length of the passageways.   
  
"Pretty long, aint it?"  
  
Mamoru jumped in surprise as he turned to face Makoto. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"   
  
Makoto laughed as she stepped forward into the maze. "Now would you go left, or right?"  
  
Mamoru heaved another sigh and walked past her, towards the right. "Right." He walked along with a deep frown, leaving the cackling Makoto behind him. He   
  
seemed to walk forever without seeing a single turn or attached hallway….it was just a straight passage. No twists. No turns.   
  
"Chibi!"  
  
Mamoru blinked in confusion and looked around. "Pardon?"  
  
"Chibi Chibi!"   
  
Mamoru raised his eyebrows as his eyes landed on a small, pink worm with the head of Chibi Chibi.   
  
"Did you say hello?"  
  
"Chibi."  
  
"No, I can't stay to meet the missus or have a cup of tea. Thank you though; I have to make it through this Labyrinth. The odd thing is, this maze has no twists or turns…it's just straight."   
  
"Chibi!"  
  
"What? There's an opening right behind me?"  
  
"Chibi Chibi."  
  
"Don't go left? I feel I should ask why…but I don't suppose that really matters does it?" He smiled and waved to the worm before going right through the slightly hidden opening.   
  
"Chibi Chibi."   
  
Mamoru marched along, wandering the Labyrinth absently. He shoved his hands into his pant pockets and blinked as he felt a hard, smooth tube. He pulled out some pink lipstick and cringed. "I don't even want to know why I have this…" he smiled as an idea struck him. "Oh, good think Mamo, you hunky piece of man meat you."   
  
He bent down and began drawing arrows, showing which way he had come from.  
  
As Mamoru turned, a very small Naru pushed up a brick and scowled as she saw the arrow. She shook her fist at the retreating cross dresser's back and yelled in a small voice, "your mother was a flaming aardvark!" with that said, she and a few other different yet identical Naru's began turning Mamoru's arrows around.  
  
Mamoru hummed a light tune to himself as he continued walking. He suddenly frowned as he came upon a dead end. He gave a sigh and turned around, glancing down at an arrow he had just made. His eyes widened in fury as he saw it had been changed.   
  
"This is completely scandalous!"  
  
"That's right, it's not fair!" came a feminine voice.  
  
"No, I said scandalous, not 'unfair'! And wasn't this just a dead end?" He blinked at the strange thing he saw. Two doors, each with a shield attached. From each side of the shields came a torso of a young woman. Cooan, Beruche, Karaberas, Petz.   
  
"No! That's the dead end behind you!" cackled Cooan.   
  
Mamoru heaved a sigh as he walked closer to the figures on the doors.   
  
"The only way out of here is to try one of these doors."  
  
Mamoru nodded his head, "Yes, I figured. But which…?"  
  
"One leads to the castle, the other to-"  
  
"Certain death?"  
  
Petz looked slightly confused, "Yes…"  
  
"But I should warn you," began Karaberas.  
  
"One of you always tells the truth, and the other one always lies, yes I know." He turned to Petz, the upper torso on the left door. "Would she tell me this door leads to the castle?"   
  
Petz looked down at Beruche and then up at Mamoru. "Umm…yes?"  
  
"Okay, good." He walked towards the other door and then entered through it. "Easier than I thought."  
  
And suddenly the ground beneath him gave out. Mamoru gave a cry of fear as he fell into blackness. Suddenly, hands reached out from the walls and grabbed him, stopping his fall.   
  
"Ah!! Oh…right…the helping hands! Whoa there! That part of me is just fine!"  
  
The seemingly never-ending hands made a face in the air, "Which way?"  
  
"Pardon?" Mamoru blinked.   
  
"Which way do you want to go?"  
  
"Up. Definitely up."  
  
"She chose down!" - "She chose down? Ha!"  
  
They all began to hand him down.   
  
"No! No I said up!" he cried in vain.   
  
There was a cackle and the hands let go of Mamoru, dropping him down into a deep, black, dark hole. An oubliette. He gave a grunt as he hit the bottom and dust floated up into the surrounding air.  
  
"….Oi." 


	3. It's Hoggle!

_**AN:** Welcome to chapter three! Anyway...Enjoy!!_

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"Discouraged yet?" Makoto lit a match in the dark and lit a lattern.  
  
Mamoru sighed, "Listen, Makoto-"  
  
"Hoggle," she corrected testily.  
  
"...Hoggle- I need help getting out of here."  
  
"Of course, of course...I'll take you right out of this nasty Labyrinth."  
  
Mamory groaned in annoyance, "No, I just mean out of the oubliette. I'll give you this nice plastic bracelet if you do." He showed the glittering jewelry to the covetous 'dwarf'.  
  
Makoto snorted in response, "Plastic? I like gold bub."  
  
Mamoru blinked, greatly confused. "No, you like plastic. That's the way it is."  
  
Makoto rolled her jade eyes as she placed her hands upon her hips. "Tell you what, I'll take you right out of this Labyrinth if you give me that stupid bracelet...and that nice gold ring you're wearing."  
  
Mamoru glanced down at his golden rin and raised his eyebrows. "Tell you what...how about I take you rkeys and get out myself?" with that said he quickly tackled the brunette and pinned her to the ground as his hands searched her pockets.  
  
"**EEK**! Pervert! Rape!" Makoto began beating Mamoru upon the head viciously.   
  
Mamoru winced beneath her brutal blows but wrenched the keys from the struggling 'goblin's' pocket. "Aha!" He jumped up to his feet and made a search of the ground with his eyes. Where was that blasted bench?  
  
Makoto growled darkly as she stood slowly. "Give those back!" she lunged at him, intent on doing much harm to the poor lost boy; but suddenly the ground was removed from beneath the raging Makoto's feet.  
  
"To the Bog of Eternal Stench for trying to hurt my precious!" hissed Usagi in a rather throaty, disembodied voice.  
  
The ground closed over Makoto as she fell screaming into blackness. Mamoru blinked as he stood frozen.   
  
"Odd..." he shrugged and began looking for the plank of wood that was dubbed a bench. A grin spread across his face as he spotted said piece of rotting wood. He picked it up and put it against the wall. He shoved key after key into the small keyhole until he finally heard a click. He smirked to himself as he opened the door and stepped into a dark stone tunnel.  
  
He began strolling along contentedly, whistling a happy tune to himself. He took in a deep breath and nearly gagged. Something smelled _very_ bad in the tunnel. It seemed to be coming from behind him...He spun around to come face to face with a soaking and very smelly Makoto. Her green eyes were narrowed into a scowl, directed solely at Mamoru.  
  
"I'll take you as far as I can if you give me my keys back," she said through grit teeth.   
  
Mamoru nodded. "Deal!" he said happily as he reached to shake her hand. He stopped himself and jerked his hand back, away from her. "Go on, Lead away. You'll get your keys when I'm satisfied."  
  
Makoto's scowl intensified as she marched angrily in front of the smirking Key Thief. She muttered curses beneath her breath, all directed to the happily oblivious crossdressing thief.  
  
As the two continued walking, a small crystal ball rolled in front of them, causing a halt to their steps.  
  
"Uh oh..." Makoto muttered as she began to follow it nervously.   
  
Mamoru reached to grab her but once he got close enough to her the smell overwhelmed him and he began to cough violently. Makoto stopped and turned to stare at Mamoru with a few confused blinks. "You okay?"  
  
"No," he managed to choke out, "Don't follow the damned crystal!"   
  
Makoto looked confused, "But we must...it is the crystal of King Jareth!"   
  
Mamoru groaned as his coughing subsided. "Precisely why we should not follow it. It'll take us straight to Jareth! Now come on, let's get out of here..."  
  
Makoto glanced about nervously. "I don't like this...You've never seen Jareth when he's angry...I refuse to suffer his wrath again!"  
  
Mamoru slapped his forehead. "Do you have to be so cowardly?!"  
  
"Yes now come on!"   
  
With that, the two began to follow the crystal, both twitching nervously, and glancing to their lefts and rights, as if Jareth might pop out at any given moment to eat them alive.  
  
Makoto ground to a stop and frowned in confusion as she saw an old beggar Goblin sitting on the ground. The crystal hopped into his cup and he sighed, "Ah, what have we here?"  
  
"Nothing," Makoto said quickly...too quickly.  
  
"Nothing? Nothing? Nothing tra-la-la-la?" Usagi stood up, removing her costume and glaring angrily at the supposed dwarf.  
  
"Hedgwart-" began Usagi, but she was soon interrupted.  
  
"Makoto."  
  
"_Hoggle_," Makoto said in exasperation.  
  
"Yes, Higgle, just what do you think you are doing, leading Sarah-"  
  
"_Mamoru_."  
  
"-further into my Labyrinth?"  
  
"I was doing no such thing!" Makoto hasitily denied, "She-"  
  
"HE!"  
  
"-thinks I was taking her further in, but I was really leading her back to the beginning."  
  
"Hogbrain-" Usagi began again.  
  
"Makoto."  
  
"**HOGGLE**."  
  
"Hogwart, you know if for one moment I thought you were betraying me I would have to throw you back into the Bog of Eternal Stench."  
  
Makoto shivered and her left eye seemed to spasm violently, "Yes milord."  
  
"Good. Now Sarah-"  
  
"**Mamoru**!"  
  
"How are you liking my little maze?"  
  
Mamoru raked a hand through his hair, "I just want it to be over with."  
  
Usagi grinned up at him cutely, "Really? Well how about upping the stakes a bit then?" With a flick of her hand, a clock behind her moved forward an hour and a half.  
  
"Ack!" Mamoru's eyes were wide, "I didn't say it was a piece of cake!"   
  
Usagi smiled at him and pinched his cheek gently, "Of course you did silly! Now, how about this little slice?" She quickly kissed his cheek then threw a crystal ball down the tunnel.  
  
A loud noise began to fill the walls, causing them to tremble. Mamoru turned around slowly and to his horror, saw a large machine that filled the entire tunnel, blades sticking out of it jagged, moving towards them quickly.  
  
"Oh no, the Cleaners!" Makoto yelped. She grabbed Mamoru's hand and began to pull him down the hall, towards and exit as Usagi disappeared giggling evilly.   
  
They ran and ran until they came a gate, blocking their way.   
  
"What do we do!" wailed Makoto in anguish.   
  
"This!" Mamoru slammed his body against a nearby door and broke through. He and Makoto both hurried through, allowing the large, deadly machine to pass them.  
  
Makoto grinned a bit as she saw a ladder going upwards. "This way," she said as she began to climb.  
  
"You're such a cowardly rat," Mamoru sighed as he followed her.  
  
"Sticks and stones, sticks and stones," Makoto grinned.  
  
After a bit of climbing, Makoto smiled proudly as she and Mamoru reached the surface and blinding sunlight. "I'll have my keys back now..." she said, holding out her hand expectantly. Mamoru looked at her doubtfully as he handed her her keys. Then, with a quick flick of his wrist, he had grabbed the bunch of jewelry Makoto kept dangling at her waist.  
  
"Hey! Them's mine! Give them back!"  
  
"No way," Mamoru grinned, "You were going to leave me here."  
  
"I-I was not," Makoto said, looking a bit guilty and even more nervous as she stammered and stuttered over her words.  
  
Mamoru grinned in triumph. "Well, lead on Makoto."  
  
"It's Hoggle!" she growled as she began to lead the gloating Mamoru onwards, deeper into the mysterious Labyrinth.

_**AN**: R&R Please!!_


	4. Mangos in Summer

> > > > > > _**Mangos in Summer**_

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_AN:_ _Aacckkk...sorry this has taken me so very long but I've been busy! You wouldn't believe...anyway! I'll be trying to post a bit more frequently so do check up! Enjoy and please R&R!!!!_

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The two walked for sometime in silence; not because there was nothing to say but because each time they breathed the retched smell of the Bog of Eternal Stench (that still clung to Makoto for all its worth) would fill their lungs, causing them to gasp and gag, rendering speech impossible.  
  
Mamoru slowed his pace suddenly, a hand still covering his mouth as he raised a brow. They had come upon a clearing and in the center sat what seemed to be Setsuna in many folds of unique clothing. But what startled the cross-dresser the most was the odd hat the woman donned. It was a long thin thing that was topped with the head of Ami. The confused Mamoru slowly approached.  
  
"Woo-woo! A young boy!" Ami smiled.  
  
Mamoru's eyes brightened and lit up. "Yes! See! She said 'boy'!"  
  
"No, I didn't," stated a frowning Ami.  
  
"Yes you did," Mamoru pressed, a bit anxiously.  
  
"No, I said 'young girl'!"  
  
"That's right!" Said Makoto, "I heard her."  
  
"I give up," sighed Mamoru as he shook his head tiredly.  
  
Setsuna stirred, her sleepy magenta eyes opening slowly. "Well, well…what have we here?"  
  
Mamoru sighed again, and looked at the dark-haired woman pleadingly. "I just want to know if you can tell us the way to the castle."  
  
"Ah…" said Setsuna slowly, "sometimes the way forward is the way back…"  
  
"Well that doesn't make sense," stated a confused Ami.  
  
"Of course it does!" scowled Setsuna, "Sometimes it seems we are not making any progress when in fact we are."  
  
Ami sighed heavily, shaking her head. "Now that doesn't make any sense either. Poor old thing, she's lost it."  
  
Setsuna's eye twitched convulsively as she yelled, "Just shut up! No body asked you anyway!"  
  
Mamoru glanced nervously at Makoto who only shrugged helplessly. He cleared his throat loudly to gain attention. "Well…we'll be leaving now."  
  
Ami turned her consideration back to their visitors. "Please leave a contribution in the little box."  
  
Mamoru frowned lightly. "But we have nothing to give," he said as he shoved Makoto's jewels into the back pocket of his jeans.  
  
Setsuna's eyes widened as she looked at the boy. "Take the hat then! That's contribution enough!"  
  
Ami blinked. "What?!"  
  
Mamoru stared on in confusion. "Take your hat…?"  
  
Setsuna nodded, removing the hat eagerly and shoving it into his arms. She quickly turned and dashed away with a somewhat mad cackle. "I'm free! FREE!"  
  
Mamoru turned to look at Hoggle. "Erm…?"  
  
Makoto, as usual, shrugged, her eyebrows raised.  
  
Ami blinked but smiled. "Well! Let's get going."  
  
Mamoru let out a small groan. "Great."  
  
Mamoru twitched as he walked beside Makoto, Ami the hat blabbering on and on about completely random subjects; like the joys of being with new people, how annoying Setsuna was and how tasty mangos were in summer.  
  
"I can't take much more of this," hissed Makoto quietly through clenched teeth.  
  
"I know," whispered Mamoru, "but what can we do?"  
  
Makoto grinned deviously, "Just leave her. Drop her and run."  
  
Mamoru snorted and rolled his eyes. "Please. We can't do that. Be reasonable."  
  
Makoto pouted slightly. "I am being-" she paused mid-sentence, "did you hear that?"  
  
"Hear what?"  
  
"That growling! Oh! There it is again! G'bye!" She turned and took off, flailing her limbs madly as she ran.  
  
Makoto and Ami stared after her, blinking. The Sarah-wannabe jumped in alarm as he heard a wild scream. He looked down at Ami then ran towards the foul noise. He came upon a clearing (imagine that) where Minako was hanging upside down from a tree. She was wearing a very orange and very furry outfit. Surrounding her were a large group of chibi-Beryls, poking and prodding the poor girl with dull spears.  
  
Mamoru looked back down at Ami and frowned. "Pardon but I need my arms free." He set her down gently and strolled over to the Chibi Dark Queens.  
  
Mamoru bent down and one by one, he would pick up a struggling chibi Beryl and would fling her over the hedge surrounding the clearing. At length he had thrown every last one; suddenly they all began to scream madly, their high pitch voices filling the ears of Mamoru and Co.  
  
Mamoru blinked in confusion as suddenly all went quiet. He shook his head slowly, turning back to Makoto. "I don't want to know." He cut the rope binding the young woman and helped her to her feet. "Are you okay?"  
  
She smiled, "Oh, I'm fine thanks! Err…I mean…Ludo fine!"  
  
Mamoru raised a blue-black brow and shook his head. "Right. Want to come with me to the castle?"  
  
Minako smiled again and nodded fervently. "Ludo go!" Her eyes widened as she spotted the Ami-hat. She let out a happy cry as she rushed towards the startled accessory. The blonde picked it up and set it proudly atop her head. She turned to Mamoru and smiled. "Ludo ready!"  
  
The exasperated man only stared at her blankly for a long, silent moment. "Well…" he said eventually, "Let's go." With that he turned to move on. 


	5. Of Odangos

**Of Odangos**

_An:_ Eeek…. Sorry this has taken me so long! bows repeatedly Forgive me! I wrote this chapter today X.x; during class. My friend cough kinda threatened me...well, she won't write until I write (which I find _completely_ un fair) Ah, well....Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!  
  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Sailor Moon .. Go figure.

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Mamoru held in a heavy sigh as he stared straight ahead of himself. He was getting really tired of a third-person-self-referring-Minako (with horrendous grammar!) and the odd Ami-hat who spoke of nothing but the joys of odangos-No!-mangos. He grimaced and gently rubbed at his temples. Yes, he was starting to miss Usagi very badly.  
  
"Usako…" he murmured to himself pitifully, "Doushite? What did I do to deserve this torture?"  
  
Ludo -Minako- perked her ears. "Sawah say something?"  
  
Mamoru rolled his eyes. "Iie, 'Sawah' didn't say a thing." Oh, when would it end?  
  
The cross dressing masked tuxedo caper blinked in surprise as the pathway suddenly ended with two giant walls and two doors. The odd thing was on each of the doors was a mounted knocker. No, it wasn't odd for a door to have a knocker but it was when each knocker was in the shape of a head.  
  
Haruka. Michiru. Oh, this just got better and better, didn't it? A large curved bar was stuck in each of Haruka's ears, and one dangled out of Michiru's mouth.  
  
Minako stepped towards the Haruka knocker, a look of awe about her. She reached out and poked the cheek of Haruka and Mamoru could have sworn he saw the knocker twitch.  
  
"I don't think you should do that," advised the Ami-hat as Minako giggled and went to poke the poor, defenseless knocker again. Minako turned her big blue eyes up to Ami and smiled innocently. "Ludo poke!" she jaded her finger at the head again.  
  
"Touch me again and I f$ing bite your finger off!"  
  
Minako jumped back, latching onto Mamoru for dear life. "Sawah!"  
  
"DON'T TOUCH MY MAMO-CHAN!" Came a loud, booming voice.  
  
'Ludo jumped away from Mamoru, her eyes wide. "Gomen Usagi-chan--"  
  
"MY NAME IS JARRED!"  
  
The ground beneath Minako's feet disappeared. The fuzzy, orange girl blinked. "Oro?" She dropped into the hole with a yelp, the Ami-hat following, eyes wide. Mamoru stared in mild horror down at the ground as it closed up. After a few moments of complete shock he turned to the Haruka door knocker.  
  
"What…just happened…?"  
  
"Nani?" came the reply.  
  
"What just happened?" he said a little louder.  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"What just happened!"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"WHAT!-Oh! Never mind."  
  
"…Nani?"  
  
Mamoru's eyebrow twitched in annoyance, a spasm shaking him.  
  
"Mmph mm nnp mmphmn eem mmp."  
  
Mamoru turned to face the Michiru knocker, blinking. "Hold on, I can't understand you with that thing in your mouth." He grabbed a hold of the metal bar and removed it, dropping it onto the ground with a loud CLANG! He wiped his hand on his pants and gave a tired smile.  
  
"Oh, domo arigato! It feels so good to get that out of my mouth!"  
  
Mamoru nodded patiently. "I'm sure. Now, what were you saying?"  
  
"Hm? Oh, it's no use talking to her, the poor dear, she's deaf as a post."  
  
Mamoru leaned against the door tiredly. "Is that so? Hai, it's understandable what with that thing in her ears…"  
  
Haruka's eyes narrowed. "Oi, pretty boy, lay off my woman!"  
  
Mamoru straightened, his eyes wide. "Nani? I'm not doing--"  
  
"Oh, stop denying it! Just keep away from her, got it? I don't want to have to bite any of your body parts off, ya hear me?"  
  
Mamoru blanched, then frowned slightly. "I thought you couldn't hear…?"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"…I thought you couldn't hear!" he said, stepping closer to her.  
  
Haruka sniffed, looking away. "No good. Can't hear you."  
  
Michiru smiled and chuckled lightly to herself.  
  
Mamoru put his face into his hands. "Ugh…I just want to know how to get out of here…"  
  
"Knock and the door shall open," replied Michiru sagely.  
  
Mamoru blinked and lowered his hands. "Oh…well that makes sense." He shrugged and knocked on Michiru's door with his fist.  
  
"With the knocker, baka," came Haruka's amused voice.  
  
Mamoru blushed lightly as he picked up the metal bar. "Oh…right…Do you mind?" he asked hopefully.  
  
"Oh, iie! Not at all!" Michiru smiled and opened her mouth, letting Mamoru place the bar between her lips. He knocked and jumped slightly in surprise as the door swung open for him, revealing a dark forest. Mamoru gulped and stepped slowly inside, wincing as the door closed behind him.  
  
"Oh, Mamoru…what have you gotten yourself into now?" 


	6. Bog of Eternal Stench

**_AN_**: Ta-ha I love all of my reviewers. TT Really guys, when you review it makes me want to write more! Thanks so much for all of the encouragements. And I'm sorry I haven't been doing the songs! I'm trying to stick with Mamoru and his P.O.V. but I'll tell you what, maybe when I finish the story I'll put in an extra chapter with all the song scenes? Tell me if you want me to! All right now onto the disclaimer! 

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or Labyrinth. I'm writing this strictly for my sick, perverse pleasure._ >:d

* * *

Mamoru sighed as he stepped through the forest daintily. He shivered lightly, drawing his billowy shirt closer about himself. "It certainly is getting cold pretty fast…"   
His step paused as he heard a crackling of fire to his right. He tilted his head in curiosity as he heard laughter fill the air.   
"Might as well investigate…" he muttered out loud to himself. With a shrug he headed over to a large clearing, black eyebrows raised. The sight he encountered both shocked and horrified him.   
Around a large bon fire dance four or five chibi Zoisites, all dressed in bright red furry outfits that were so tight Mamoru had to assume the inner layers of the costumes were made of spandex. One of the dancing Zoisites popped off his head and bopped it up into the air, laughing all the while. Another Zoisite hit the head as it bounced over to him. They all giggled.   
"Oh…my…Kami…-Sama…" Mamoru slapped a hand over his eyes, wrenching back a hysterical sob. "I've gone mad. That has to be it. I'm probably locked up; bouncing around in some padded room right now, laughing. Oh my Kami-sama!"   
Then, much to Mamoru's complete and absolute horror, the chibis (who seemed completely oblivious to his existence) began to sing in voices so high-pitched, so squeaky, he swore they must have been inhaling helium. "When the sun goes down!" One began, shaking his little butt all around.   
"When the sun goes down!" The others echoed. 

"And the bats are back to bed (and the bats are back)

The brothers come 'round (the brothers come 'round)

 I get out of my dirty bed (my dirty bed)

I shake my pretty little head (I shake my pretty little head)," almost as if on cue they all shook their heads.

"Tap my pretty little feet (tap my pretty little feet)," and tapped their feet.

"Feeling brighter than sunlight (oh)," at about this point in the song they all began to take off random body parts and toss them about or form completely new creations out of the various parts.

"Louder than thunder (oh)

Bouncing like a yo-yo, wooh (oh)."

Mamoru peaked through his hands and nearly fainted as he saw the chibis pulling off assorted limbs and heads, throwing them about and whapping at them playfully. His face blanched, his hands trembled. Mamoru's left eye spasmed violently and he suddenly reached out, grabbing a hold of the nearest head. "OI! Stop!" he roughly shoved the head onto a body and turned quickly. "I can't take any more of this madness. I'm out of here!" He stormed off, leaving a group of bewildered chibis behind.   
Muttering angrily to himself, Mamoru came upon a dead end, a sheer cliff leading upwards into oblivion. He gulped.   
"…Kuso."   
With a small sigh Mamoru turned to find a new way to go on.   
"Yipe!" Mamoru jumped in surprise as a rope fell down the side of the cliff and smacked him on the side of the head. "OOOOHAAAAYOOOO!" called a familiar voice from above.   
"Makoto?" Mamoru called up as he gripped the rope and tugged to make sure it was stable. He nodded in satisfaction and began to climb.   
"That's HOGGLE!"   
"Yare, yare…Hoggle."   
"That's right," muttered Makoto as she helped Mamoru up and over the edge of the cliff.   
"Domo."   
Makoto grinned and shrugged. "Oi, what are friends for?"   
Mamoru raised a wary eyebrow and patted Makoto on the shoulder. Makoto's green eyes widened, "I-Iie! Matte!" Mamoru blinked and looked down just in time to see the ground opening below himself and Makoto. "Well, crap."

**-Flash Back-**   
"Oh, and Hoggle?" Usagi raised a cool eyebrow.   
"H-hai Jarred-sama?" Makoto winced expectantly.   
"If Mamo-…Sarah ever touches you I'll turn you into a prince."   
"H-honto?"   
"Hai…a prince of the land of stench!" she cackled wickedly, rubbing her small, pale hands together mischievously.   
**-End Flash Back-**

The two tumbled down a long, slimy tunnel that spat them out onto a crumbling stone ledge.   
Mamoru's eyes widened in disgust as a putrid stench filled his oh-so delicate nostrils, "Kami-sama!" he exclaimed, his words a little muffled as he clamped a hand over his nose and mouth. Makoto nodded her head as she snaked along the edge of the wall staring down at the hideous bog of stench below. It bubbled and spat brown fumes into the air, the smell absolutely abhorrent. Makoto's face paled and she swooned, her head becoming light and tipsy. Mamoru clamped his free hand onto her shoulder, pressing her back against the wall.   
"You okay?" he asked, slipping along the wall.   
Makoto nodded and gave a distracted "hai".   
Mamoru leaned forward and glanced down. The two were no longer hovering over the bog but were over the dirt banks of the smelly marsh.   
"Oh, good. It looks like we're safe now."   
Alas…he had spoken too soon. The ledge crumbled, sending the two careening down to the earth below. Mamoru blinked in surprise, expecting to slam into dirt and rock, but found his fall was oddly cushioned. He shoved Makoto off of himself and jumped to his feet when he heard a muffled grown beneath him. He looked down and yelped upon seeing Minako in her very bright, very fuzzy orange suit.   
"Ludo…in pain…"   
Hastily Mamoru helped Minako to her feet, dusting her off once she stood.   
"Gomen nasai Minako!" He bowed low, "we didn't mean to fall on you!"   
Makoto blinked, "We didn't? I thought it was the best possible landing. That suit, err, fur…of hers gives niiice cushioning." Mamoru cast her a quick glare and then turned back to Minako who was only smiling at the others brightly. "Mina…where's Ami?"   
"Ami?" the blonde asked, tilting her head in confusion.   
"That hat you had on earlier?"   
"Oh…" Minako frowned in concentration, trying her best to think. "Ludo no know. Ludo fell and Ami-Hat gone when Ludo woke up!"   
Mamoru shook his head slowly as he heaved a heavy sigh. "Well we don't have time to worry about that now…We need to get to that castle."   
Minako nodded once, smiling brightly once more. "This way!" She grabbed a hold of Makoto's and Mamoru's arms and began to drag them off further into the steaming, stinking, smelling, reeking bog.   
Minako stopped before an old, rickety bridge that led over the bubbling, fuming waters. "And you want us to get across using…this?" Mamoru cocked a brow as he looked at Minako. The fuzzy orange clad girl nodded her head with a grin. "Hai!"   
Makoto nodded. "Sounds like a plan to me! Me first!" She strolled across the bridge quickly, making sure not to step too heavily in any one area.   
Mamoru groaned but hesitantly stepped out onto the bridge. When it didn't collapse he sighed in relief. "Well…this isn't so bad." About mid-way across the bridge he heard a loud cracking sound. He looked down at his feet and his blue eyes widened. The wood was snapping. He yelped and jumped up, grabbing onto an overhead branch, dangling there as the old wooden bridge gave out completely and collapsed into the murky pits below.   
Mamoru gulped as he clung to the branch, his eyes widening further in horror as he heard the aged bough crack.

"Not again…"


End file.
